the dangers of self improvement
Have you ever tried to improve yourself or your lifestyle? Now think about one of these things that you’ve tried to improve and think about the time and energy you’ve put into it. Now think about the outcome, was you disappointed by the results? Well if so, you’ve probably fallen for the dark side of self improvement! I hope you don’t misunderstand this by thinking I’m saying self improvement is a bad thing, because it’s not, but there are a few things you should take into consideration on your journey of self actualization.
If your reading this blog you probably know what we’re talking about, 500 YouTube videos, 200 podcasts, 100 blog posts 50 courses 20 books and 10 seminars down and still no idea what you’re doing. Don’t get it twisted, this is great, we can find out anything we want at just the touch of a finger tip. We can learn all these great things but often receive to much Information and become overwhelmed meaning we never really put the things we’ve learnt into action. Yes you might get a short ego boost by putting the new stuff you learnt about healthy eating on your Instagram story, but what are you putting into action right now that’s going to change your life! “you are what you do, not what you say you will do” I’m not quite sure if I’m doing the right thing In writing all these blogs and giving them away for free, people really appreciate me writing them, but are they implementing the stuff I talk about into practice? Would it be better if I made a course for only the people who are truly dedicated in changing there life? There’s so much conflicting information out there that you don’t know what to do, paleo diet, bullet proof diet, ketogenic diet, they’re all great but which one do you commit to? Well I think its best to stick with one and keep to it. In self Improvement we often get distracted by the shiny new things, instead of mastering one thing. After Henry Ford’s intelligence was questioned, when in the witness stand he said this “If I should really WANT to answer the foolish question you have just asked, or any of the other questions you have been asking me, let me remind you that I have a row of electric push-buttons on my desk, and by pushing the right button, I can summon to my aid men who can answer ANY question I desire concerning the business to which I am devoting most of my efforts. Now, will you kindly tell me, WHY I should clutter up my mind with general knowledge, for the purpose of being able to answer questions, when I have men around me who can supply any knowledge I require? This shows that even the greats focused on one priority and didn’t clutter up their mind.
To many rules and restrictions
This doesn’t mean self discipline is a bad thing, what I’m saying is, when you start to improve yourself you often make all these rules and restrictions you have to abide by, habits are great to build, but when you create this unrealistic expectation for yourself to uphold it can become very stressful. Also if you miss one little ritual you do, it can demotivate you for the rest of your day, causing a downwards spiral back to where it all began or even worse. You create this perfectionist mindset that is impossible to live up to. I think this is what I’m running into now, realizing I can’t do everything all at once. If you fall off track in your diet or whatever you’re trying to improve, just jump back on. It’s not a race! Don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead build pillars you can stick to every day and keep them as your main focus, then if you want to add a small habit to your schedule do so but if you slip up, don’t worry about it. Don’t sweat the small stuff! Condition your brain to be positively rewarded instead of punishing yourself every time you loose track. Whatever gets rewarded, gets repeated, it’s been an evolutionary way of surviving, our brain taught us to remember where food was by rewarding us when we had it.
Self development vs self judgement
This is probably one of the biggest dangers of self improvement. Not feeling like you’re good enough, this comes from within. Unfortunately it may be the reason you’re supporting brain boosted, you feel like you need to improve because you’re not of value right now, well let me tell you, you’re great! I love this quote from Suzzane Eder “The bud is not less whole than the blossom, It’s just at a different stage of development” most people significantly change their lives due to one out of two things “desperation or inspiration” but you need to come to a point where you love yourself but you want to improve, instead of having low self esteem and improving because you don’t feel worthy of a better life. This can be due to how this is marketed to you by these so called “gurus” they make you feel as if you’re not good enough and that you need to buy there overly priced course to be normal. When you learn to love yourself when growing It’s not of lack of something or insecurity, it comes from being whole and wanting to expand your knowledge even further. I’m not saying you can’t take inspiration from others but you’ve got to follow your own path. Another problem with this is that we focus so much on the goal that we forget to enjoy the process. When trying to improve yourself you often look to others for inspiration which is great but it becomes a problem when you start to compare yourself to them, judging yourself on other peoples circumstances, they’re at totally different stages of life to you.
Balance is so important in life and the same still applies for self improvement. When we start a journey of self development it’s usually from one reason, weather it be empty pockets or a broken heart. Let’s take the empty pocket as the example, you begin to immerse yourself in how to make money, learning from all the experts and then applying it to your own life. As you sit down to build your Shopify store you’re munching on a McDonalds Burger full of grease, ignoring your girlfriend of 8 years who just wants a bit of attention. Think that’s a healthy balanced life? Well I certainly don’t! I know so many people who are financially rich, but are not wealthy as the rest of their life is a shambles. A lot of young entrepreneurs may be looking up to these figures and copying their lifestyle, not fully understanding the whole story. I understand that sometimes you might have to be slightly unbalanced to just get stuff done, but you you must always return to a centred way of life, being balanced in every area.