how to win friends and influence people book reveiw

 The 10 best ideas from how to win friends and influence people 

I got this book for a present after hearing about how it had helped people make friends, make sales and become a true leader. Sounds good right? Well below we’ll be telling you the ten golden nuggets that we took from this book shortly. I read the digital age version of this book but I think the principles still apply from both. So firstly I’ll give you an introduction. This was one of the first self help books to grace the earth and became the figure head for self improvement. This book is based on communication and has been used by many different people from CEO’S to Olympian’s and even warren buffet has said that the book has helped him shape how he does business. Dale Carnegie the author had a very fluctuating life during young adulthood from contemplating suicide to being a top salesmen. But this is a book review so let’s get on with it!

10 golden nuggets from how to win friends and influence people:

1. Smile more

It’s one of the simplest things to do, yet we often forget to do it, If you see someone smiling you feel a natural warmth towards them, you feel like you know them and they’re easier to connect with, so if we have a natural smile people are going to feel good around you and spend more time with you.

2. influence behaviour

If someone is clearly doing something wrong over and over again its not a good idea to just flip your lid and go crazy a trick that I learnt is what I like to call a negative sandwich, so say someone who works for you is always late for work. What you could say is “ hey your really good at selling to customers, but when you’re late your missing out on getting these sales, and we really need you here as your one of the best.” An extra tip is using “and” instead of “ but” for example “hey kid your getting really good at football and if you put in a few extra hours in practice just think how far you can go “ this not only gets rid of the negative but inspires people!

3. Use peoples names

It’s said to be one of the sweetest things you can hear. So use others names as much as you can… well maybe not all the time. If you use peoples names when you start talking to them you would not believe how much more personal your conversations will be, instead of saying “ what you doing today “ say “hey John (or whatever their name is) what have you got planned for today?” even if you’ve only just met, if you use the persons name they feel like they already know you and that there is a familiarity towards you.

4. How to win an argument

Well….. There’s no such thing really according to dale , and I totally agree. You can be right about something and say it until you’re blue in the face but you never truly win an argument, yes the other person might give up and you might have the last say, but you lose because you’re ruining the other persons pride which in turn ruins the relationship between the both of you. Is it worth it?

5. The power of yes

This is a well known sales technique that if you get a lead (pre-customer) to agree to a small task or fee they are more likely to be susceptible to engaging in something of the main examples of this is with email marketing, companies will ask you for your email and sometimes will give you something in return (that’s the first yes) then after a while your seen as a warm customer so they send you an offer and statistics show that you are more likely to say yes again, this trick doesn’t just have to be used in business, you could use this to influence people into believing in your ideas or anything you can think of!

6. Give sincere compliment

Going that extra mile when complimenting someone can influence someone’s opinion of you tremendously, yes the common compliment’s are nice like saying someone’s hair is is nice but when you go abit deeper and use emotive words it means so much more, something like “ what you said today really inspired me and got me off my ass, thank you.” Words like that don’t get thrown around a lot so when you do you’re already at an advantage

7. Give people a reputation to live up to 

This reminds me of something I’ve learning about in psychology called the “self fulfilment prophecy“ which is where if someone is diagnosed with a condition there symptoms can become more prominent. In this case it can be used as a positive, if we give someone a name to live up to they’re more likely to show the characteristic’s of that desired person, for example if you say you’re such a kind person, they’re likely to be friendly, empathic and generous. This can be used if someone is making mistakes by saying something like “ others look up to you as a leader so you need to set the right example.

8. Invest in people’s interest’s

Skip the chitter chatter and find what people are interested in, people like to talk so let them talk about something that they know and something they enjoy, there’s a huge difference in the depth and length of conversation with people when we talk about something they enjoy

9. Give credit where it's due

This comes in often when doing team exercise, people love to feel like they’ve created something or even just contributed so let them take the credit for it, honestly the smile on their face is worth it, I’m not saying just let people steal your things and gain all the benefits but when working on something together let people know about them.

10. Stop complaining

Don’t criticize, condemn or complain because really what’s the point, this one is pretty obvious but we do it a lot, I think it’s become a natural habit but it just ruins relationships.

My thoughts

I think this book is fairly simple but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing as having friends should be a thing that everyone has the delight of having. In the digital age version there is lots of examples used and I think this is the same for the original so if you like Story concepts this is the one for you, I also think this is a great starter book as it’s easy to read.

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