How to flirt and know if someone is flirting with you using the H.O.T. A.P.E.
How to flirt?
The technique we will be learning about today is called the H.O.T. A.P.E a bit of a strange name, yes I know but it’s a great way of remembering how to flirt effectively. It’s also a great way of telling if someone is attracted to you, you’re a great catch so don’t put yourself down!
The H.O.T. A.P.E. technique for flirting
- H: H stands for humour, particularly shared humour as we all find different things funny. Some people like sarcasm, dark humour and others like silly puns (me). everyone has their own unique style. Have you sat in sugar, because you have got a sweet ass. I know it’s cheesy but if you thought that was funny, you’re the one for me! On a serious note humour is very attractive. I think this quote explains it best “You make me laugh when I’m not even in the mood to smile” making someone laugh is like a hack in to the persons emotions. When you talk to couples who have been together which seems forever, they often attribute it to how their partner has the ability to always make them laugh, it keeps things fresh.
- O: O is for open body language, open up your body and you open up your heart, although this makes you feel more vulnerable, it actually makes you look a lot more confident, so stop crossing your arms in the kitchen of the house party and ease up, let your arms loose and take up more space, sometimes it’s beneficial to be the elephant in the room. There’s lots of ways to show flirty body language and one way you can tell if someone is attracted to you is if their feet are pointed towards you, it’s a telltale sign that they’re interested even if the rest of their body is facing someone or something else. If you would like to learn more about body language read this book (the definitive book on body language)
- T: T is for touch, now this is a tricky one, you obviously don’t want to be all touchy feely but neither do you want it to go unmissed. Touching is such an important factor in building relationships whether it’s going to be intimate or just a friendship so it’s important you get it right! I think subtle touches on the persons arms is fine, obviously don’t just grab them, have a reason or say something like “you’re so funny” whilst doing it, anything to ease the interaction to be just a normal conversation.
- A: A is for Attention, the more someone is attracted to you the more they’re going to keep an eye you. But when your showing them attention you don’t want to be doing it to much. When you’re talking to someone, listen to what they’ve saying but still be aware of everything that’s going on around you, not giving to much away. When you touch them or interact with them don’t be so absorbed in what you’re doing and look for their reaction.
- P: P is for proximity, if you walk in to a party and see someone across the room, you turn your back for 2 seconds to pick from the selection Hors d'oeuvre and as you turn around they’re right there, you know they’re interested in you. If you see someone giving you the eye from across the bar don’t just sit there, go over and talk to them, the relationship isn’t going to get serious when you’re about 10 foot away.
- E: E stands for eye contact, there’s a huge difference in eye contact when you’re just being friendly compared to flirting. If you’re trying to flirt keep them short and regular not giving to much away but make it intense, but don’t be creepy, make sure the person is looking at you, as much as you are looking at them.