How not to be a simp
10 minute read
Have you been scrolling through social media and you saw an attractive girl on there, so you decided to give her a compliment and as soon as you did, you got 100 comments calling you a simp. Maybe you’re playing warzone with the boys and you get a message from a girl and decide to respond straight away, for all of your mates to say that your simping again. Whatever you seem to do, you get called either a beta male, nice guy or a simp and you’ve had enough of it! Well don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.
Before we delve any deeper, we need to actually know what a simp is.
What is a simp?
The word simp actually originates from the abbreviation of simpleton, which is a name for someone that is silly or foolish but, due to a mix of meme culture and social media an entirely new definition of simp was formed.
(Sucker idolizing mediocre p***y) or simp for short is a term used to describe a man who puts himself in a subservient or submissive position under a woman in the hopes of winning them over, without the female giving any input herself.
To put more simply, a simp is a guy that will do anything to please a girl, whether it’s giving attention, money or lifts, in an attempt to receive affection from a girl.
Some may say that this is just being gentlemanly but there is a definite difference between being a gentleman and being a simp.
What’s the difference between a simp and a gentleman?
A gentleman is a chivalrous, courteous and honourable man that not only respects others but, also himself. A gentleman has goals and the ambition to achieve them. A gentleman is charming particularly to a Lady but, is not a gentle man and knows what he wants in life.
A simp on the other hand, doesn’t treat women with respect or themselves for that matter, as they are manipulatively trying to impress a woman by bending over backwards for her.
So, what are the common characteristics of a simp?
How to tell if you’re a simp.
There are some signs that may suggest that you are a simp, which we have listed below.
- You put girls on a pedestal: No matter what a girl does, you don’t see any fault in what they are doing, you can’t criticize them as they are superior to you.
- You get told off by them: This happens a lot in a “simpy” relationship where it’s as though your girlfriend is like your boss or even worse, your parents! Because she tells you how to talk, act and ultimately be yourself.
- Overly invested: Some guys are so emotionally invested into girls that don’t even know them, they wait on girls hand and foot in hopes they will be noticed. Guys that are on social media all day, often are simps.
- Manipulated by girls: Some men will do anything for a females attention, they’ll often let a woman walk all over them, in the chance of gaining something out of it. Girls will ask you to do something and you’ll do it straight away, even if there is no benefit to you and if you’re even slightly hesitant, they’ll play some kind of guilt trip on you because they know your nice guy weaknesses.
If any of these seem familiar to you, it might be a good idea to start changing your behavior to a better you. Below we have some tips for you to use to stop being a simp.
Don’t look for validation
It might be from a rough upbringing through childhood or maybe you’re just not the most popular person in the world but, many guys like yourself, seek validation from women because they lack self confidence. So, you do things to try and impress a female for respect yet, girls are more attracted to a competent man who doesn’t seek approval and is sure of himself.
It is nice to have the approval of others but, the way to get it is to have high levels of self-respect or even better, not care about what people think about you in the first place.
One way to boost your confidence is to use positive self-talk in the form of affirmations. Affirmations are short sentences that you say to yourself to feel empowered such as “I am strong”. The theory behind affirmations is that when you say these phrases, your mind is always listening and over time, you’ll train your brain to believe these statements.
Here’s some relationship affirmations you can use:
- “I am worthy of a healthy relationship”
- “I am attractive“
- “I have a great personality”
- “I am confident”
- “I have the ability to draw the right people into my life”
Don’t always be available
A simp seems to have all the time in the world for the person that they’re simping over. Whether the girl wants a lift or just some attention, the simp will drop anything that they are doing to help the woman. Being available makes you look desperate and not only that, it shows that you have nothing else important in your life other than a girl, which makes you less desirable. think about it, why are diamonds a girls best friend? Because they’re rare so, if you have less time for a girl, she’ll appreciate you more when you are available.
How can you be less available to a woman, I hear you ask.
Relationships should complement your life, not be your life! You need to have other things in your life that give it purpose, whether it’s hobbies, going out with the lads or working on a business. You shouldn’t be prioritizing a girl that doesn’t even like you over everything else. You might hear “dating gurus” tell you to ignore her texts but, this is just being fake, you actually need to be doing something that you enjoy so you don’t even notice that she’s messaged. If you don’t know what to do or what you enjoy, here are 100 ways that you can improve yourself so, I’m sure you will find something that floats your boat.
Trying to hard
You’re on this page to see if you’re a simp and you’ve probably watched 1000+ videos on how to attract a girl, what body language shows dominance and how to look more attractive to women and don’t worry we’ve all been there. It’s in our nature to want to get better at things and I applaud you for taking action, however, there comes a point when you are trying too hard. You can know every trick in the book when it comes to attracting girls but, if you don’t go out there and meet the ladies you’ve got no hope of getting in a relationship. Another problem with trying to hard is when you’re talking to a girl and something that you saw on a video doesn’t go to plan, which makes you think you’ve done something wrong, your anxiety levels rise and you crumble.
The only way to get around this is to be 100% yourself, it’s no good being able to trick a girl into liking you and then when she gets to know the real you, you’re a totally different person. I’m not trying to put you of learning how to be a better version of yourself, that’s great but, if you start acting like a totally different person, you’ll lose your authenticity.
Girls are going to test you and it’s totally normal, don’t think that they’re always trying to trip you up, they’re just trying to make sure that you are the right guy for them. When it comes to simping, a girl testing you is very common, they’ll say something like “you’re so boring” or “I don’t like what you’re wearing”. Another way that a woman will try and test you is by trying to make you jealous by talking about other guys.
You need to keep your cool!
- You can totally ignore what she is saying, as if she didn’t say anything at all, for example, she might say “do you talk to other girls” and you just sit there as though nothing has happened.
- You can just laugh it off when she says something to test you. “I was speaking to your friend earlier” just smile and ask if he said anything interesting.
- Probably one of the best ways to disarm a girls test, is to agree and then exaggerate. A girl might say “you’re such a player” and then you respond with “yeah, all the old ladies on the bus have a thing for me.
When it comes to relationships, it’s so important to set boundaries, not just for the girl but, for yourself. You’ve got to be open about what you want and know when it’s time to let go. You can’t blame the girl for everything either, you’re the one that’s simping, she’s not forced you to! The main problem with setting boundaries is communicating it.
You need to be honest with females, tell them if you don’t appreciate something because if you give them an inch, they’re going to try and take a mile. Guys really struggle to stand up for themselves but, if you know that you’re right, you need to stick to your guns. She might start asking you to give her lifts everywhere (probably other guys houses) and you need to let her know that it’s not okay and respectfully let her know that you will leave if things don’t change.
Hopefully by implementing some of these tips into your interactions with women, you’ll stay clear of the simp zone and start having fulfilling relationships with women.
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