Bad boys vs nice guys
Come to the dark side… I’m only joking but is being called a nice guy really a compliment? Or is it a back-handed one? A curse as such. Throughout this blog we’ll be looking in to the differences of being a bad boy and being a nice guy including all the stereotype’s, how to be both and ponder the BIG question… who wins!
You might be wondering “why should i be a bad boy”? Well if you ask a girl what type of guy she is interested in, she would probably say a nice guy, someone who is loving and caring, I’m not saying that girls are liars, but look around and you will see most girls seem to fall for the “super powers” that a bad boy possess’s, dominance, assertiveness and confidence, bad boys seem to have these qualities in their locker which they can pull out at any time. Think of your James Bond’s they carry a certain swagger about them, an I don’t give a f#ck attitude. Why? That’s right, because they’re bad boys, well James Bond is saving the world and all but you know what I mean. When we think of a bad boy, we might think of an arrogant jerk who plays with girls feelings, breaks their hearts, only for the girls to come running back every time however this doesn’t have to be the case! You can have a bad boy persona and still help the old lady cross the road, still give to charity and overall be a well rounded person.
How to be a bad boy
Being a bad boy is all about attitude and charisma, it’s the way we portray ourselves to the people around us. so how can you do this… below you will find five tips on how to be a bad boy.
Step 1: Improve your style
No you don’t have to wear a black leather jacket and ride a Harley Davidson before you start to ask, although this is the traditional bad boy look, I think that if you want to style yourself like a bad boy you’re best of starting with darker colours, black, blue, brown and green. My favourite would be black as I think accentuate’s your muscles and makes them look bigger and more defined. I also think that you should have a statement piece that makes you, you as that’s what being a bad boy is all about. Get a watch or wear some glasses, anything that’s going to set you out from the rest.
Step 2: Be more Confident
When I say confidence, I mean real confidence. Lots of guys now pretend to be confident, I understand the rule of faking it until you make it but trying to be someone you’re not isn’t confidence, bad boys don’t care about their imperfection’s, they are what they are and there’s nothing you can do about, bad boys don’t care for other peoples opinions. If you would like to learn how to be more confident click here to read my blog on the keys to confidence.
Step 3: Be more care free
Like I said in the last tip a bad boy is not concerned with the thoughts of others, this includes girls, sometimes a girl will test you to see how much of a bad boy you really, you can’t blame her she’s just trying to wheedle out all the fake confident guys. You’ve got to show resilience. You might say you like something and she will instantly disagree, don’t straight away back track on what you’ve said, be a man and stick by it, she might not agree but she will respect you so much more. Bad boys are very mentally resilient and don’t let their emotions take over and if you want to be a bad boy you shouldn’t let your emotions effect you either.
Step 4: Be assertive
If you want to be a bad boy you’ve got to be assertive, you can’t be all timid around girls and wait for them to make the first move, NO! You’ve got to be strong and take the lead. You should be the one to ask the girl out before a real bad boy does, it’s not that serious anyway, what’s the worst that could happen. So we often see that a shy guy would ask a girl out by saying something like “ hi Emily I was just wondering if you would be interested in going out on a date with me?, but it’s okay if not” now compare this to a bad boy “we’re going for dinner tonight!”
Step 5: Know what you want
A bad boy knows what they want in life and they’re not afraid to go out and get it, nor should you be. A bad boy is passionate about what he desires and doesn’t let people disrespect them.
Nice guys never win… or can they? Well I think they can, when i'm talking about being a nice guy i'm not talking about the person who’s really shy and always puts themselves down i'm talking about the sociable guy that we all know and love, the guy gets Party every time he walks in, let’s take someone like James Corden for example, people love to be around because of his unbelievable energy. A lot of so called nice guys aren’t really even that nice, they just try and manipulate girls in to thinking they are just because they want to get with them. You can see that some guys aren’t truly nice as they only act nice to the girls they find attractive. So back to the first statement “nice guys never win” WRONG! And let’s see how.
How to win as a nice guy
Throughout these tips we’ll be using the example of the tv host James Corden as he is an all round nice guy but in a very clever of where he is still respected by others. So let’s research how he does it!
Step 1. Give specific compliments
What is the traditional way that we try to make someone feel confident? That’s right it’s a compliment, we will say blarzay comments about someone who walks in to the room. I feel like these compliments have a natural reaction like “you look nice” but unfortunately this means that they lose their value and don’t mean as much but, if you want to really grab someone’s attention go that extra step and really look what steps that person apart from all the other you can see this a lot in James Corden’s carpool karaoke, he will say something like “every time I see you, you always seem happy.
Step 2. Use the push and pull technique
Compliments are a great way of making someone feel good about themselves which in turn makes more people want to be around including the ladies however, complimenting people can often build up to much tension making them feel a tad uncomfortable, a way you can counter this is by using the push and pull technique this is wear you compliment someone (pull) and then tease them about something (push) this is often used in dating and we can see it being perfectly used here in an interview with James Corden where he is complimenting Emily Blunt.
Step 3. Being a fan of people
James Corden his guests on a pedestal, although this is putting self he does it when he is in power or in a higher status as he is the host, we see that James uses self deprecation in a way that he makes everyone feel good but is not losing any respect as he is leading the conversation and isn’t showing low self esteem. Watch this video to see how he perfectly executes it.
Step 4. Use playful banta
As guys we often poke fun at each other but sometimes we take it to far, we often try and impress girls by putting other guys down, turning a light joke into a slaging match and seeing who can come up with the harshest insult between your best friend resulting in you both missing out. Did your mother not teach you that you can’t fight Fire with fire instead just poke fun at something the other person won’t take to serious, look at how James does it here.
Step 5. Set clear boundaries
You might be thinking that these other tips are helping you in the initial attraction , but what do you do when someone disrespects you? well you can see a great example of this when James takes back control of the situation when a guest starts to push his boundaries, The first insult that the guest says James just brushes past it and doesn’t react to it, a girl doesn’t want a drama queen of a boyfriend however she doesn’t want a pushover either, we can see in the second insult that James takes a suttle dig at the guests age just to put him back in his place and show his dominance.
So yes overall a nice guy and a bad boy can win, but as a nice guy myself I do believe it depends on what situation you’re in, I think you should play to your strengths and be the best you!